The Truth About Alcohol (Why Quitting Feels So Hard)

Episode #148: The Netty Pot

Korean mosquitoes dined on my legs for three-weeks while I lived under the threat of Kim dropping a nuke on my head. I felt four aftershocks in Bali and thought my daughter had died when she collapsed at the airport, and I was also eaten alive in Barcelona by bed bugs. But I never got a cold. I've been back in the UK a week. So, how did I deal with my bout of ‘man flu?’ I did nothing. I sat on the settee and hoped it would magically fuck off. An attitude in stark contrast to my wife, Liza. Last night, she sprayed Colloidal Silver in my mouth and poured a strange smelling liquid into each nostril using a gravy boat as a makeshift netty pot. Then she gave me Oregano oil, a hot lemon & ginger tea, told me to rinse with Hydrogen Peroxide, and then take a steam bath with Eucalyptus and Peppermint. The next morning I was fit as a fiddle. And this got me thinking about wanting to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol. Most people approach the gig as I approach man-flu. They decide to quit drinking but don't do much else. They may pop in and out of Strive; post a few things about the weather while pressing a few ‘heart' buttons. They may read a few books and listen to some podcasts, but mainly they white knuckle it. Then you get people like Liza. They listen to the podcast and email me directly asking the question, "How did you do it? Tell me your secret." They join Strive and for the next 30+ days check-in daily, going deep, sharing, and being vulnerable. They ask plenty of questions. They post all of their triggers (especially when they drink) and ask the TTAA Moderators to help them to get to the root cause of why they drink. They read all of the books, taking notes, and then taking action on those notes, like creating and using a toolkit before deciding to drink. They take the TTAA-Life Changing Experience and any other program the likes of Annie Grace, Holly Whitaker and Laura McKowen create, delivering their secret sauce. So what’s it going to be? Are you going to lie on the couch and hope shit magically happens, like me? Or are you going to say to yourself, "I am going to beat this mother fucking thing, a take a fuckton of action like Liza?" Join us to find out more at: www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk

Episode #147 Don’t Change The Label; Change The Culture

I've just read a report from the University of South Wales where researchers discovered, after subjecting 25 people to an alcohol shopping experiment, that the participants didn't read the health warning labels before buying alcohol. Why would they? Taking Wales, as an example, people drink alcohol because it’s culturally encouraged and appropriate to do so. We are programmed from birth to believe that alcohol is both normal and pleasurable. At the same time, we are aware that alcohol is not good for you. The same culture that programs us to drink also serves us with a warning not to drink too much. Of course, we're never going to read a health warning label. We drink because that’s what people like us do. Even if we did manage to convince people to read health warning labels, and make them more confronting to the purchaser; consider a study where smokers were shown health warnings on cigarette packets during a fMRI scan. The researchers found that looking at the warning lit up the same part of the brain that leads the person to crave a cigarette. Don’t change the labels. Change the culture. How do you do that? You create a mass movement of people. And that’s what we’re doing at Strive. The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And we Refuse to be Anonymous How We Quit Alcohol We serve and share in the heart of the Strive movement. We listen to The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast. We grow through the TTAA Life-Changing Experience. We learn and interact through The Alcohol Monologues. We are vulnerable at Radical Honesty. Join us at: www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk

Episode #146: The Social Butterfly

I'm digging through my lock up trying to find a pillow. Mercedes (I only remembered the name, because, well, she's called Mercedes) is asking me what I do for a living. She can't leave, because I share the lock-up with three strangers, and Mercedes is there in case I develop a compulsion to steal someone's walking stick. We talk for 30-minutes. Nonsense, boring, fake talk. People believe they need alcohol to function, socially. They feel boring, shy, or a bit of both. When they quit alcohol (which is different than becoming someone that doesn't drink alcohol), this narrative becomes louder. “Perhaps, I am a social butterfly?” I have a theory. People wear masks. Some more than others. They hide our essence. We have been wearing them ever since we became teenagers and decided to ‘fit-in.' We have worn them for so long we have forgotten who we are. Extrovert. Introvert. We don’t have a clue. When alcohol has control over us, we spend a vast amount of hours having conversations we don’t recollect. Surface level chinwags that provide zero value, but fill time. When we quit alcohol, we have more time. And it's deafening. We see masks everywhere. It's frightening. They become more apparent because without alcohol we're experiencing life, and life contains twice as many fake, inauthentic conversations that we had when drinking. At the same time we realise we have values and beliefs, and if we behave incongruently against these values and beliefs, we feel a sense of shame, confusion and guilt. We feel unsure of who we are, and the resistance sniffs our lack of surety and begins telling us that life is dull and how we are better off drinking because life was so much more interesting. Yes, life can be dull, but picking up the bottle isn't the solution. All you accomplish through drinking is to eliminate bouts of time through unconscious actions brought on by the beliefs system known as alcoholism. Time is precious. Let's not hurl it into the darkness. The key is not to drink. Instead, develop self-introspection, and radical self-awareness. We look around, and our friends and family are playing a game we no longer want to play. We don't want to have surface level conversations. They make us feel slightly angry and irritable with the world. We yearn for deep, meaningful conversations. This yearning leads to loneliness if we can't develop the capacity for patience, the open-mindedness to allow the universe to send the right people our way, and the courage to take action when they turn up. Loneliness leads to resistance. Resistance leads to alcohol. Self-awareness, radical open-mindedness, and radical honesty lead to you becoming someone that doesn't drink alcohol. WE ARE NOT BORING. Everyone else is. Join us at: www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk

Episode #145: The Roundabout

I am in a hotel room in Seogwipo, standing on top of a table, tackle out, staring down at the roundabout, 13-floors beneath me. I can’t stop staring. Transfixed. In the UK, you approach a roundabout, brake and wait for a gap in the flow of traffic so you can safely pull out and join the madness. If you’re on the roundabout, you have to keep an eye out on the odd crazy loon who pulls out in front of you, but it’s rare. Not in Seogwipo. Nobody brakes on the slip road. Cars, vans, motorcycles, buses - they all drive straight onto the roundabout resulting in a constant car jam as the vehicles on the roundabout have to brake incessantly. Everyone beeps, angry that they have been cut off, and yet the beepers behave the same way. It’s nuts. And the solution is simple. Or is it? I spoke to my taxi driver, Andy, about the mayhem. Andy agreed with me that it was nuts and the UK way of doing things would make more sense, would speed up the flow, and result in fewer accidents. Andy then drove straight onto the roundabout ignoring everything I said. Imagine you're Andy, and you want to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol. I sit you down and explain things to you. You tell me that I am making total sense. Then you walk into a bar, and everyone is drinking. The cars entering the roundabout are people who drink. There are too many of them. It doesn't matter how much education we provide; people will keep to the status quo because there is too much pain and suffering to change in the short-term, irrespective of the long-term benefits. Don’t be a Korean driver. Be the one vehicle that tries something different. Join us at: www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk

Episode #144: Them

Sometimes the process of becoming someone that doesn’t drink alcohol can feel like pumping air into a tyre made of Swiss cheese. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. I see a familiar pattern on Strive. People arrive. Sheepish. Over time, they gain confidence. They fit in. They check-in, help others and seek guidance. The motor is running. They are the hare. The rabbit no more. Then they drink. Shame. Guilt. They run to the hills. But here’s the thing. If you stay put, you will learn more from the drinking than you ever will from the running. There is so much value to be gained from interrogating what went wrong, at the moment. It's the Edison light bulb method of sobriety. I can't dress it up any other way - shame and guilt are about YOU. Strive is about THEM. If you drink and then show up with lipstick smeared all over your face, stinking like an ashtray, toilet roll stuck to your heel, we teach others how to fail, so they don't have to. The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And we Refuse to be Anonymous How We Quit Alcohol We serve and share in the heart of the Strive movement. We listen to The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast. We grow through the TTAA Life-Changing Experience. We learn and interact through The Alcohol Monologues. We are vulnerable at Radical Honesty. Radical Honesty: No More Masks is the newest experience from the Truth About Alcohol designed to help you learn to embrace vulnerability, a key criteria if you want to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol. https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/offers/hziD5dXL

Episode #143: Getting There

This morning, I woke at 4.45 am to climb to the peak of Seongsan Ilchulbong in Jeju, South Korea. I carried my daughter on my back, up and down. The goal was to do it without killing her. Her heart’s still beating. It felt great to stand at the summit; like King Kong at the top of the Empire State Building, dragonflies flying around my head like jet planes. Let’s not forget the night before. The preparation, the anxiety, the tension. Let’s not forget each step along the way. The cumulative effects of the actions we take en route to our goal are what define us. Don’t overlook the value of ‘process’ because without it we are less likely to reach the summit. Strive. Radical Honesty. The Strive Academy. The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast. The Truth About Alcohol Life-Changing Experience. TTAA-Life Changing Experience can be found here: https://thetruthaboutalcohol.mykajabi.com/store/Bio9LBm4 The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And we Refuse to be Anonymous How We Quit Alcohol We serve and share in the heart of the Strive movement. We listen to The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast. We grow through the TTAA Life-Changing Experience. We learn and interact through The Alcohol Monologues. We are vulnerable at Radical Honesty. Check us out at https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/

Episode #142 - Metrics

Do you count the days? Maybe, like Tony, you’ve created a percentage system? Metrics are important. Remember, the old adage; you can't manage what you can't measure. But what should we measure? It's worth remembering that what we measure deserves our unwarranted attention. It should become our number one priority. And with this in mind, if you want to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol, I imagine you think that setting the metric for ‘non-drinking days' is the priority. I want you to take a step back. For some, counting the days feels like a merry-go-round. You will feel so nauseous and disorientated you revert to type. I have a better idea. Why not set a metric for the number of days you check-in on Strive? If you can check-in for 30-consecutive days, you will feel a part of something special. You learn you're not alone. You share, learn, and help others. Then, after 30-days, fuck it. Go for it. See how many days you can do? I assure you, you will get further building on top of Strive's strong foundation. The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And We Refuse to be Anonymous Join us at The Truth About Alcohol - https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/ Take a look at our new courses: Radical Honesty - https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/offers/hziD5dXL The TTAA Life Changing Experience - https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/offers/QBZLYnPv

Episode 141A: Three Little Piggies

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who each decided to build a house to protect them from outside forces. The first little pig built his house with straw. The second little pig built his house with sticks. The third little pig built her house with bricks. One day a big bad wolf arrived at the house made out of straw. “Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Shouted the wolf. “Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin,” said the little pig. “Then I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your house down,” said the little pig. So he huffed, and he puffed, blew down the house, and ate the little pig. Next, the big bad wolf arrived at the house made of sticks. “Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Shouted the wolf. “Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin,” said the little pig. “Then I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your house down,” said the little pig. So he huffed, and he puffed, blew down the house, and ate the little pig. Finally, the big bad wolf arrived at the house made of bricks. “Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Shouted the wolf. “Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin,” said the little pig. “Then I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your house down,” said the little pig. He huffed, and he puffed. He huffed, and he puffed. He huffed, and he puffed. Eventually, realising that no matter how many times he huffed or puffed, he would not blow the house down, the big bad wolf left the little piggy alone and went looking for more little piggies uneducated enough to build their homes made from straw and wood. If you live in a house made of straw or wood why not come to our house? We chose bricks. The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast is a brick. The Strive movement is a brick. The Strive Academy is a brick. Radical Honesty is a brick. The Truth About Alcohol Life-Changing Experience (TTAA-LCE https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/offers/QBZLYnPv) is the cement that holds everything together, and on Sunday you can join the next adventure. Hurry, there are two spaces left.

Episode #141: Doing and Being

At Strive, we help people do the things they want to do, so they can be who they want to be. What do you think comes first? Figuring out the things you want to do, or defining the person you want to be?

Episode #140: Juggling

Seth Godin has a brilliant podcast called Akimbo. Listen to it. One of his episodes is about juggling. Godin says that most people are learning to juggle by throwing the balls and then try to catch them. It seems the most rational way to learn, to me. But it’s not the most efficient. Godin believes in learning to juggle, you first need to learn to throw. Throw one ball, and let it drop on the floor. Throw two, and the same. Throw three, and the same. Keep on throwing until you have perfected your throw. Now learn to catch one ball. Then two. Then three. Keep doing it until you excel in catching. You get the picture, right? People don't like to drop the ball because it leads to a decrease in status. If you are willing to temporarily decrease your status in the short term, for an increase over the long run, shortcuts become available. Take alcohol as an example. How do you become someone that doesn’t drink alcohol? You don’t stop drinking alcohol. You check-in on Strive, daily. Only people don't want to do this because it leads to a temporary reduction of status. Barge past this resistance. If you check-in daily, your accountability grows. People see you, hear you and respect you. You help others and receive help in equal measure. Most importantly, if you're triggered, you are less likely to develop a case of the ‘fuck-its.' Find the most efficient way of learning, not the obvious way. If you don’t know how to find it, ask someone who knows.