The Truth About Alcohol (Why Quitting Feels So Hard)

Episode #145: The Roundabout

I am in a hotel room in Seogwipo, standing on top of a table, tackle out, staring down at the roundabout, 13-floors beneath me. I can’t stop staring. Transfixed. In the UK, you approach a roundabout, brake and wait for a gap in the flow of traffic so you can safely pull out and join the madness. If you’re on the roundabout, you have to keep an eye out on the odd crazy loon who pulls out in front of you, but it’s rare. Not in Seogwipo. Nobody brakes on the slip road. Cars, vans, motorcycles, buses - they all drive straight onto the roundabout resulting in a constant car jam as the vehicles on the roundabout have to brake incessantly. Everyone beeps, angry that they have been cut off, and yet the beepers behave the same way. It’s nuts. And the solution is simple. Or is it? I spoke to my taxi driver, Andy, about the mayhem. Andy agreed with me that it was nuts and the UK way of doing things would make more sense, would speed up the flow, and result in fewer accidents. Andy then drove straight onto the roundabout ignoring everything I said. Imagine you're Andy, and you want to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol. I sit you down and explain things to you. You tell me that I am making total sense. Then you walk into a bar, and everyone is drinking. The cars entering the roundabout are people who drink. There are too many of them. It doesn't matter how much education we provide; people will keep to the status quo because there is too much pain and suffering to change in the short-term, irrespective of the long-term benefits. Don’t be a Korean driver. Be the one vehicle that tries something different. Join us at: www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk

Episode #144: Them

Sometimes the process of becoming someone that doesn’t drink alcohol can feel like pumping air into a tyre made of Swiss cheese. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. I see a familiar pattern on Strive. People arrive. Sheepish. Over time, they gain confidence. They fit in. They check-in, help others and seek guidance. The motor is running. They are the hare. The rabbit no more. Then they drink. Shame. Guilt. They run to the hills. But here’s the thing. If you stay put, you will learn more from the drinking than you ever will from the running. There is so much value to be gained from interrogating what went wrong, at the moment. It's the Edison light bulb method of sobriety. I can't dress it up any other way - shame and guilt are about YOU. Strive is about THEM. If you drink and then show up with lipstick smeared all over your face, stinking like an ashtray, toilet roll stuck to your heel, we teach others how to fail, so they don't have to. The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And we Refuse to be Anonymous How We Quit Alcohol We serve and share in the heart of the Strive movement. We listen to The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast. We grow through the TTAA Life-Changing Experience. We learn and interact through The Alcohol Monologues. We are vulnerable at Radical Honesty. Radical Honesty: No More Masks is the newest experience from the Truth About Alcohol designed to help you learn to embrace vulnerability, a key criteria if you want to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol. https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/offers/hziD5dXL

Episode #143: Getting There

This morning, I woke at 4.45 am to climb to the peak of Seongsan Ilchulbong in Jeju, South Korea. I carried my daughter on my back, up and down. The goal was to do it without killing her. Her heart’s still beating. It felt great to stand at the summit; like King Kong at the top of the Empire State Building, dragonflies flying around my head like jet planes. Let’s not forget the night before. The preparation, the anxiety, the tension. Let’s not forget each step along the way. The cumulative effects of the actions we take en route to our goal are what define us. Don’t overlook the value of ‘process’ because without it we are less likely to reach the summit. Strive. Radical Honesty. The Strive Academy. The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast. The Truth About Alcohol Life-Changing Experience. TTAA-Life Changing Experience can be found here: https://thetruthaboutalcohol.mykajabi.com/store/Bio9LBm4 The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And we Refuse to be Anonymous How We Quit Alcohol We serve and share in the heart of the Strive movement. We listen to The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast. We grow through the TTAA Life-Changing Experience. We learn and interact through The Alcohol Monologues. We are vulnerable at Radical Honesty. Check us out at https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/

Episode #142 - Metrics

Do you count the days? Maybe, like Tony, you’ve created a percentage system? Metrics are important. Remember, the old adage; you can't manage what you can't measure. But what should we measure? It's worth remembering that what we measure deserves our unwarranted attention. It should become our number one priority. And with this in mind, if you want to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol, I imagine you think that setting the metric for ‘non-drinking days' is the priority. I want you to take a step back. For some, counting the days feels like a merry-go-round. You will feel so nauseous and disorientated you revert to type. I have a better idea. Why not set a metric for the number of days you check-in on Strive? If you can check-in for 30-consecutive days, you will feel a part of something special. You learn you're not alone. You share, learn, and help others. Then, after 30-days, fuck it. Go for it. See how many days you can do? I assure you, you will get further building on top of Strive's strong foundation. The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And We Refuse to be Anonymous Join us at The Truth About Alcohol - https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/ Take a look at our new courses: Radical Honesty - https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/offers/hziD5dXL The TTAA Life Changing Experience - https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/offers/QBZLYnPv

Episode 141A: Three Little Piggies

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who each decided to build a house to protect them from outside forces. The first little pig built his house with straw. The second little pig built his house with sticks. The third little pig built her house with bricks. One day a big bad wolf arrived at the house made out of straw. “Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Shouted the wolf. “Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin,” said the little pig. “Then I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your house down,” said the little pig. So he huffed, and he puffed, blew down the house, and ate the little pig. Next, the big bad wolf arrived at the house made of sticks. “Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Shouted the wolf. “Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin,” said the little pig. “Then I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your house down,” said the little pig. So he huffed, and he puffed, blew down the house, and ate the little pig. Finally, the big bad wolf arrived at the house made of bricks. “Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Shouted the wolf. “Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin,” said the little pig. “Then I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your house down,” said the little pig. He huffed, and he puffed. He huffed, and he puffed. He huffed, and he puffed. Eventually, realising that no matter how many times he huffed or puffed, he would not blow the house down, the big bad wolf left the little piggy alone and went looking for more little piggies uneducated enough to build their homes made from straw and wood. If you live in a house made of straw or wood why not come to our house? We chose bricks. The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast is a brick. The Strive movement is a brick. The Strive Academy is a brick. Radical Honesty is a brick. The Truth About Alcohol Life-Changing Experience (TTAA-LCE https://www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk/offers/QBZLYnPv) is the cement that holds everything together, and on Sunday you can join the next adventure. Hurry, there are two spaces left.

Episode #141: Doing and Being

At Strive, we help people do the things they want to do, so they can be who they want to be. What do you think comes first? Figuring out the things you want to do, or defining the person you want to be?

Episode #140: Juggling

Seth Godin has a brilliant podcast called Akimbo. Listen to it. One of his episodes is about juggling. Godin says that most people are learning to juggle by throwing the balls and then try to catch them. It seems the most rational way to learn, to me. But it’s not the most efficient. Godin believes in learning to juggle, you first need to learn to throw. Throw one ball, and let it drop on the floor. Throw two, and the same. Throw three, and the same. Keep on throwing until you have perfected your throw. Now learn to catch one ball. Then two. Then three. Keep doing it until you excel in catching. You get the picture, right? People don't like to drop the ball because it leads to a decrease in status. If you are willing to temporarily decrease your status in the short term, for an increase over the long run, shortcuts become available. Take alcohol as an example. How do you become someone that doesn’t drink alcohol? You don’t stop drinking alcohol. You check-in on Strive, daily. Only people don't want to do this because it leads to a temporary reduction of status. Barge past this resistance. If you check-in daily, your accountability grows. People see you, hear you and respect you. You help others and receive help in equal measure. Most importantly, if you're triggered, you are less likely to develop a case of the ‘fuck-its.' Find the most efficient way of learning, not the obvious way. If you don’t know how to find it, ask someone who knows.

Episode #139: Laurie Seguin on Becoming a Striver

In this episode you get to meet the fabulous Laurie Seguin. "When I thought about whether or not I could live my life without drinking alcohol in a culture where alcohol was all around me, I was very concerned that I would be able to handle the ‘craving’ to drink," Laurie told me recently. "There had been many attempts at giving up alcohol before and each time, I gave in to what I now call the ‘bewitching hour’ and the fact that all around me other people were still drinking. I was very skeptical that anything could get me passed those cravings and doubted anyone else could understand what that was like for me." "When I began taking The Truth About Alcohol Life Changing Experience (TTAA LCE), we began to take a look at how we structure our time during those moments and what we do with the ‘white space’ or down time. In other words, finding pursuits outside of drinking to occupy the time that I would normally use on that activity. At first, that sounded like an easy thing to do, but I found that I needed to get to know myself again. It was also the first time that I really looked at how much time I was setting aside to consume alcohol and then recover from it. While taking the course, we began to deconstruct our beliefs around drinking and became reacquainted with the things that that used to bring us joy, before drinking quietly ushered those things into a place that seemed far away. We also delved into our thought patterns and the coping strategies we gradually developed as drinkers to begin building healthier habits in our thinking. We become proactive and aware as opposed to reactive and confused. The urge to submit to the knee-jerk, subconscious habit of pouring a drink is replaced with clear headed cognitive and emotional awareness. My personal experience with the course is that once I saw the truth about alcohol, I could never unsee it. It was like finding out that someone I thought was a good friend was a total fraud." "I finished the LCE in February and have been someone who does not drink alcohol for about 6 months. More importantly though, than not drinking alcohol, I don’t think about drinking alcohol. It does not present a temptation and I have no desire to return to the sluggish haze that was me prior to my experience at TTAA." Today, Laurie is a TTAA Moderator, helping fellow Strivers to follow in her footsteps. Find more at: www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And we Refuse to be Anonymous

Episode #138: The Signal

In this episode, Lee Davy, shares his thoughts on the way the Russian government control the minds of the nation, and how I believe alcohol advertising does the same in the UK. Masha Gessen is a Russian-American journalist, and an outspoken critic of the Russian President Vladimir Putin. Sam Harris recently interviewed Gessen on his Waking Up Podcast, where they talked about Putin’s Russia, immigration and the #MeToo movement. There is a moment in the podcast, where Gessen, struggles to get her point of view across to Harris, that Russia’s public opinion doesn’t exist. When responding to Harris’s question on the status of public opinion towards Putin and America, Gessen responds: “I wouldn’t describe public opinion in Russia. In a country where they have no ‘public’ or ‘opinions’ it is very difficult to talk about public opinion and I mean that literally.” Gessen then states that you can’t have public opinion without a public sphere. For some of you (it was for me) the phrase public sphere may be a new one. If it is, let me explain. The public sphere is the environment in which people can come together and talk freely about societal issues and problems, and through those discussion influence political action. “Without a public sphere, there is no public opinion, and Putin has destroyed that public sphere.” Said Gessen. A few minutes pass, and Harris once again returns to the question of public opinion. A clearly irritated Gessen reasserts her view. “I am saying people don’t have views.” “How is that possible?” Asks Harris. Gessen proceeds to explain to Harris that the most recent polls show that you can predict with 86% accuracy that Russians will say exactly what they have learned through television. If the TV is saying that US is the enemy then this is what Russians will believe. “It’s a matter of survival in a totalitanairiam state to actively mirror the signal that comes from above.” How Alcohol Fits In As I listened to Gessen talking to Harris my mind wandered to alcoholism and the view that it’s a byproduct of people known as alcoholics who drink too much alcohol. That is the signal from above. That is the signal we in the UK actively mirror. Believing that life on TV is real life is a theory known a Cultivation Theory. The average person in America will receive between 5,000 + 10,000 adverts per day. The alcohol industry is one of the biggest spenders in marketing. In addition to the branded alcohol marketing, if you watch TV, you are subjected to a minute by minute viewpoint that drinking alcohol is normal and pleasurable. I contend that alcoholism is not the byproduct of alcoholics drinking to much alcohol, but instead, it’s an invisible, violent and dominant belief system that kills more than 3.3 million people per year and is one of the causal factors in over 200 illnesses and diseases. This powerful belief system destroys the public sphere when it comes to discussion on this topic in the same way Putin has destroyed the public sphere in Russia. The Russians don’t dare criticise Russia out of fear of reprisal from the Russian government or supporters of Putin. It’s no different when it comes to alcohol. People who choose not to drink alcohol are afraid of talking about it in the public sphere because of the fear of ostracisation, ridicule and shame. It’s for this reason that Strive and the Truth About Alcohol Life-Changing Experience is vital. We are the protectors of the public sphere when it comes to this discussion. We are not alcoholics. We refuse to be anonymous. We do not drink alcohol. We refuse to actively mirror the signal that comes from above. And we spend every waking moment helping people do the same. Find out more at www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk. The Truth About Alcohol We Are Not Alcoholic, And we Refuse to be Anonymous

Episode #137: On Being A Zealot

In this episode, Lee Davy, shares his thoughts on the benefits of talking openly, honestly, and proudly about our decision to be people that don't drink alcohol. Find out more & sign up at www.thetruthaboutalcohol.co.uk today.